This is a really Nerdy post.

Did you know that you can mathematically prove why some sounds sound good to our ear, and others sound like they are clashing? That's just awesome. I never really looked into it before. I knew it was possible but i never understood much about the way it worked.

I saw a wave graph of two notes. C and E. The waves intersect at predictable, repeatable intervals. I guess this makes sense thinking about how it sounds. Then another graph of C and D was displayed. The dissonance was clearly visible. The two waves looked terrible together.

This makes me think people can sometimes be compared to sound. Sometimes my "sound wave" looks like this when combined with someone else's:



























Then other people make it look like this:




























So much nicer.

Can I explain this? No. Can I describe the exact differences? Usually no. But its obvious. Kind of like how you couldn't verbalize all the mental calculations needed to throw a ball through a hoop, but actually doing it is easy.

The last third of 2008 has really been great for good graphs in my world. Props to awesome friends. Here's to the impending 2009 and hoping none of you out there have any interactions of the first graph kind.

10:11pm and no one around...

Right now....10:11 pm, I'm trying to work on my Anthropology paper. How well is that going you ask? Well, I'm writing this....so it must not be going that well. In an attempt to study better, Im going to perform a mental memory flush......

I have like ten billion little things running around in my head so here goes. (in no order)
1. Why do teachers like to leave 50% of the coursework for the last 20% of the semester?
2. Why is it so hard to make time for reading Jesus books and devotions, but so easy to spend time researching car parts or playing my guitar?
3. Why doesn't winzip just give their product away for free. Practically everyone i know pirates it anyway...
4. Why can't I seem to concentrate on anything for more than 20 mins?
5. Why can't computers just work right all the time, instead of forcing me to draw out my computer skills sword and force them into submission?
6. Just how dangerous is x-ray radiation?
7. What does anesthesia feel like? (I'm gonna get to find this one out over Christmas break)
8. Who really controls how much oil costs?
9. Why can I look at a girl and think she is cute/attractive/awesome and that she has qualities I want, and yet whatever it is that has previously motivated me to get a girlfriend in the past, is now gone. Now I'm deathly afraid of drama and am scared that ANY girl I date will be as drama queen-ish as my previous GF's. (with one exception) It's like my subconscious is telling me "STAY AWAY FROM THEM! They'll just use you. They'll eat your time and money and make you feel like poo!" and then I tell it "NO! you shush! They are pretty and smell nice and I like them!". Then my subconscious and i get in this big argument...so far it keeps winning. I guess thats the skeleton in my closet :s
10. aoleiusrlasjdlfenflsdnflewjflsjdfljlawekjflsdkfffalse;sjfljsfl!!!!!!!!....?
11. Why is it so hard to say no? Plain, simple, no. "Hey Ryan do you want to (insert common group activity)?" I should just be able to say "no thanks, I don't want to." I just know people will then ask "why don't you want to do (whatever)?" and then get all upset. Prepare yourselves, Ryan is learning how to say no.
12. When are we gonna get snow for real? Im talking like two or three feet of it.
13. Why do some teachers really just not have a CLUE about their students, when they've been teaching for longer than I've been alive?
14. Why can't more time exist for friendships?


Anyway thats a little bit of what my mind is running through. Ugh....I don't know if that helped. I apologize to the zero people that read this for that boring post. Free speech sucka!

#00046

That's the ticket number I held tonight at the concert in Elkhorn, NE. Andrew Peterson and friends shared their musical talents with us, and I am completely speechless. I wish I had half of their talent and knowledge. It was simply amazing. Thanks go to Ben and Emily who have been introducing me to this music. Wow. I didn't take pictures, but the sounds of guitars, cello, banjo, slide guitar, piano, drums, cymbals, mandolin, bass, and voices still fill my ears.

In other news I am trying to figure out where all my free time is going. I mean lately life has seemed pretty busy and that is WITHOUT having/chasing a significant other. How the heck did I have time for a girlfriend before lol? Priorities I guess eh? Anyway its all good because Ive been really feeling content with that, so much so that I almost feel wierd about feeling so happy being single. What irony!

I guess if I think about it, I know where a lot of my free time is going, and, for the most part, Im perfectly content with that too :)

Culture

I'm reading the book "The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri for my Lit class, and it's really reminding me of my love for culture.

The story that starts off with a newly married Bengali couple, headed to the United States so that Ashoke, the man, can start his teaching career. Ashima, his wife, spends a lot of time reflecting on memories of home, and inwardly struggles with homesickness. The story is set in the 1960's and the only communication with her home halfway around the world is through letters. A few phone calls happen as well, but those are primarily the source of bad news.

This book makes me wish I had the chance to grow up in such a culture. It makes me understand better how people from other culture's react to ours. Ironically, I think I better understand one of my exs now. It makes me as an american want to drink in that culture; to soak up as much as possible and learn every custom and tradition. In a unique way that is so different from American life. Perhaps, somewhere out there a Bengali child wishes the same thing, but reversed.

Every page elicit's a new "wow", and a new understanding for everything american. Its shocking, the comparitave general lack of respect for family and others that american's have, when viewed from a very culturally different background.

I hope this does not fall on deaf ears when I say this, but in a world thats rapidly becoming more and more modernized (westernized) when you see a glimpse of culture, cherish it and respect it. Try and understand it and learn from it. Be patient with it, becuase it might disapear faster than you think.

math and tiny things

From 11:30am, until 8:15 pm, I was doing Differential Equations. Yuck. The test was difficult i must say, but I am a little proud when I think of how much work I put into it. I know without all that studying that I would have surely failed it.


Well I'm almost done with classes until break. Tomorrow. Today actually. I am worried I will be bored. I am the kind of person that needs social interaction to survive. Don't get me wrong I need my alone time once in a while like everyone else, but friends rejuvenate me. I once had a an ex that said "Friendships drain me....". It's pretty obvious why that one didn't work out :)

My brain is frazzled. If I were to type more, I would either wind up, A.) writing too much and boring people, B.) writing too much, and saying things I would regret, or that would hurt others, or C.) attempt to make an analogy of my life that has WAY too many references to math, physics, and science.

I know option B might seem strange, but I have to edit almost everything I write initially. Apparently the filter between my mind and the keyboard lets things slip sometimes, or wants to anyway, and then the conscious part of my brain has to say "whoa there partner". I guess my subconscious can be pretty rude and straightforward. I honestly kind of like it sometimes :)

Am I just too distractable?

I can no longer listen to the radio when I read a book. I just wind up tapping my foot to the beat, and thinking of harmonies in my head, or that some other instrument would go good with it. All the while forgetting that I'm supposed to be reading. How annoying...why can't I read to music?

In other news props to Amazon.com for sending me a copy of "He Still Moves Stones" by Max Lucado for 6$. That's right. Hardcover edition, shipped to my door, for a grand total of 6$. Plus I didn't have to drive anywhere to get it, so no money in gas was spent. Anyone else read this book? I ordered it becuase there are small snippets from that book in my devotianal book "Grace" by Max Lucado, and I really liked those small segments.

We'll tommorow I have a 3 page paper due that currently has not been started. Peace!

honey nut cheerios

So last night was the main event for AcroFest. I was honestly going with the idea that it would be fun to hang out with the people I was going with, but that the actual show would not be that impressive. Boy was I wrong! I really enjoyed it, plus it was free for me (and others). A coach of another team was very kind and allowed us in the back door. It was a very random thing for him to do. Thank you sir!

Except for the way-too-loud-microphone, it was really cool. It makes me miss gymnastics very much. So much so that i decided to reincorporate some gymnastic exercises into my workout routine today. The exercise i think, is referred to as a "skull crusher". Not sure on the real title. Bascially its doing a handstand and lowering yourself until your head almost touches the ground and then pressing back up. I also added the seated handstand press and I expect to be sore tomorrow. :)

I like honey nut cherrios. There ya go....that ties in the title. haha.

they make all the difference...your friends.

A year ago i felt lost. I mean.....I didn't really have a circle of friends per say. I was not meeting new people, old friends were leaving. I was confused to be sure.

Well that was a year ago. Its amazing what time can do. What a year, or even a month or two can do for a person; Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Two months ago I had no idea that this is where i would stand today, and 6 months ago I would have even had a harder time believing it! It is truly a blessing from God. I have met so many new people, and forged new solid relationships with some of them. People whom, I had even met before, just never really got a chance to know. Now making new friends is great, but unfortunately I have this irrational fear that I will lose those friends eventually, which lets me make many good friends, but very few BEST friends. Opening up that much of myself is scary. But its happening. God is good.

This last Saturday night we, BERT (Ben, Emily, Ryan, and Taleah), were hanging out at Ben's house and a situation arose such that Emily said to me "See! Its the people that make all the difference!" She is right! I had a chance to do the exact same activity we were doing somewhere else, and I declined. The people were the ONLY thing that would have been different. How awesome it is, to feel like you can be 100% yourself, and not have a fear that you are being judged!

Sunday morning as I was helping my dad rake up leaves and pine needles, I realized one amazing thing. I do not feel lost anymore.

im a lucky man

I have some great friends. I am a lucky man.

Today we all made cider and played a game called....well.....i dont really know what its called, but basically someone says a word and everyone else makes a face. A picture is then immediately taken of the first face that comes to mind. Let me tell you, words can inspire some very interesting faces! :)

This is my first post in over 4 years. Its strange to go back and read the old writings.

Expect more + pictures soon.

until tomorrow dawns :)

ok more on Europe!

Alright, well, Europe was actaully a school sponsored trip that was led by our English teacher. She is really smart and knows her stuff about history. Anyway, ya, we went to London Paris and Rome. London did not recieve my favorite vote becuase it was so expenisive there. 2 dollars to 1 pound. And normal things cost a whole lot more it seemed like. Rome didnt either becuase it just didnt catch my eye the way florence did. (btw heres a list of all the towns we went to as far as i can remember: Rome, Assisi, Florence, Paris, calais, Canterbury and London) Anyway, ya it was cool becuase i have never been over to europe before. The only other time i have been out of the country was to the Dominican Republic on a maranatha project to build churches. Another thing that sucked was i lost my camera. Actaully it was stolen but i didnt let it ruin my trip at all. One thing that i must say for florence that made it so fun, is that we went to an open air live concert one night after going up to this awesome over look for the city, and then after that we were walking back to our hotel and just as we happened to pass the river we saw fireworks going off, so we turned around and walked back to the bridge and watched a 15-20 min proffesional fireworks display, the likes of which i have never seen. Then we got back to the hotel and rubbed it in everyone elses faces becuase there were only a few of us that got to do all the cool stuff.
 
Anyway, IM ALMOST 18!!! .........(thats wierd the 1 is smaller than the 8.....) Anyway, wow 2 or 3 more weeks and im there!
 
Well, i guess im sort of lucky, i get to go on antoerh vacation with some of my freinds here in 2 days. were going camping to Colorado. It should be super fun, but then again it might suck, becuse im trying to get over this girl and then im gonna have to be around her for like 4 days, and its gonna be hard. Ive made a promise to myself that i wont spend as much time around her as i used to.
 
Alas.....i must find a picture of myself that is worthy of posting......im am so bad at getting that kind of stuff done.... o well.
thats it for now, im gonna go chill and play my guitar some (something i have dearly missed)
 
until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

just got back from Europe

yo, just got back!
Europe was sweet! I had so much fun, i would go back anyday. My favorite place was Florence, Italy. It was sooooooooo beautiful and aged. It had a lot of character. Anyway, it was fun macking on the ladies while over there. And i hung out with some really cool guys and we tons of fun. Ya, im pretty lazy so no more of those everday updates. Mabye i would write more often if people would make comments, i dont even care what they say, im just interested in seeing a comment. Meh, o ya, i went to a concert while i was over there too, it wasnt like rock or punk or anything, more classical, but it was still cool. Anyway, i got nothing left to say,
 
until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

well.....after not posting for a few days...

ah yes, it appears i have gotten lazy. That is just too bad. Anyway, i went to the dentist today and was told to floss more often. :( flossing sucks, it takes too much time, and im lazy. O well.

WEll.... we lost our B-ball game last night. The first one that weve lost all season. We played horrible though, and towards the end we came back within 4 points. We should not have lost, we were a better team than them....but o well.

Anyway, i have another game tonight and i want to just chill and play the guitar for a while, so im not gonna write to much.

NOTE TO ALL: LISTEN TO "GLORY DEFINED" BY BUILDING 429, IT IS A GOOD SONG

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

i know that i'll be running home to You....

crazy....

life is insane for me right now, i have 50 billion things that i need to do, and think about, and its getting really hectic. Anyway, got stuff to do, later.

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

so tired.....

man i am super tired. ive been sleeping good and i am still tired. o well, just have to sleep more. Anyway, i bashed our school pretty good with that post that i accidentally deleted, so sorry bout that, it was funny, becuase our school admin is gay and dumber than dirt.....wat who said that?.....actually some of them are, not all of them. well.....only 8 hours of work left (less if i can talk my dad into letting me off early) before i get a break for the weekend. that will be nice. weekends are the most fun part of my week. Ok, wat else do i have to say......o ya, im gonna pull a real good prank on the old people where i work someday. Its gonna be a blast. Me and one of my best freinds (havent told him yet) are gonna go running around in army fatigues scaring the old people. I promise i will take video and email it to any of you that want it. just curious.....anyone actaully reading this?(just leave a short comment if possible) i dont really care, but interested as to how many people visit this page. someday mabye i will get off my butt and put a counter on it. (i am actually competent with HTML and JAVAscript, but due to my extreme lazyness, i never have actually posted any webpages, or even modified this one. I helped on our schools website (sucks majorly, nothing is ever updated.....at least not since i quit)
well.....i think i will go play my guitar. hey listen to 3 doors down "away from the sun" its a good song.

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

crapola...

i had a huge update all typed out, but i accidentally deleted it, and im tired so i wont write it again, mabye i will talke more tommorow....

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

never give in, never give up....

well....the volleyball teams lost again tonight... :( They gotta pull themselves out of this losing streak. Its like, they do good when the points dont matter, but when the games on the line the pressure gets to em or something. O well, i guess they shouldnt worry too much about it, and just play for fun. Anyway, that sucked, so did work, nothing interesting.

well, i have to admit, watchin volleyball is frusturating, becuase they make (sorry eagles team members) really stupid mistakes a lot. I mean, how can you go up for a ball, and have it fall right in front of you on your side of the net. i see this kind of tihng all the time. Now, im not being sexist or anything, but i think guys would kick womens butt at volleyball. There so, i dunno, uncordinated.....boy if any of the team members read this im gonna get an earful :) o well, they try.

im gonna go eat some food cause i am hungry. (hows that for a simple thought)

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

yo tengo hambre....

the volleyball team lost tonight. :( it was close though, they won their first match, then lost the second, and time ran out on the third while they were down by two so they lost. They played super good the first game, i dont know what happened to them the second match. Anyway, im really hungry and want to go play the guitar. bye

until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

tired.......

its ironic isnt it? that i am sleeping better on the weekdays than on the weekends. I usually get 8-9 a night on the weekdays, and on the weekends its only like 7 hours. o well. It also might be from all the excitment of weekend, mabye thats the prob, you know when your thinking about 14 million things, and your body is tired but your mind isnt yet. ya then it takes a whlie to fall asleep. Anyway, back to constructoin tommorow.

its cool, we live out in the country, right outside the city limits, and our neighbors are shooting off fire crackers. bottle rockets etc. That is one of my passions. I am a true pyro at heart. But only with really cool big explosions, those little stupid fire crackers are boring.

i found something really neat today, you take a compressor, hook up a hose to it with a spray nozzle on the end, and stick the nozzle in a blow gun loaded with a dart and fire it. it will shoot farther than you will every hope to shoot it will lung power alone. the only problem is the darts stick in really far on what ever your shooting and sometimes its hard to get them out. Also you can take a 2 liter bottle of pop, shake it up, and shoot it with a stun dart and it will explode. Its super fun if your bored, like me.

hm....im tired, im gonna catch some Z's
until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

distortion.....

hey fellow homosapiens.
Today was cool, i got to play my guitar for prasie band (we didnt do that good today, not bad, but not good either. I was the only one who really knew this song by 3rd day we did, and the singers were all off...o well) And then i ate lunch with my grandparents :( real boring. Random thought: i want o learn how to play the piano.
Then this afternoon it was cool cause i got to hang out with the coolest girl in the world. if that term was in a dictionary, her picture would be there.

....the one thing i will say about nebraska is that it has good sunsets. Its the one redeeming thing about nebraska.
There is just something about watching the sunset, especially if its really beautiful and there are just a few clouds to reflect the color. It makes me think that our world couldnt have been made just merely by evolution, it had to be created by a loving God. I mean, how could something that incredible be an....accident?

i'll leave you with that thought,
until tommorow dawns...
Ryan

The weekend is finally here!!!!

i love weekends, they are my favorite part of the week. Especially Saturdays. I get a day to rest and also to see my freinds. THis week has been too long.

Anyway, lets see, today was boring, o but hey it was cool, i got to see Vice president Dick Cheney this moring in person. He and his whole motorcade drove right down the street where me and the rest of the constructoin crew were taking break. It was awsome to see all the secret service guys in thier cars scoping out all the buildings and rooftops. They even had an ambulence following the motorcade. That was prob the most interesting thing that happened all day. I had praise practice this evening. That was cool. i love hangning out with the praise team. Were learning that song by relient K...."for the moments i feel faint" its pretty cool but we couldnt remember the second verse to it.

Lets see, o ya, i ate at outback today, it was super good, it was one of my freinds pre-birthday party things.

Anyway, im gonna go chill and play my guitar,
until tommorow dawns...
Ryan